Playing Doctor
by gypsy season
Summary: Winry knows, finally, that it isn't a game anymore.


They used to play doctor, when they were younger, smuggle stethoscopes, bandages, tongue depressors under their shirts out of Winry's house, dumping their spoils in the grass once they had run far enough away to not get caught. Ed chasing Al with an empty syringe, its pinprick point catching the light; Winry practically suffocating the boys as she wraps their faces with bandages.

"Now it's my turn! Pretend to die." and Winry would dutifully comply, falling to the ground and thrashing against Ed and Al's hands, screaming at the top of her lungs.

"Ohhh, I'm dying! Dyyyyyyying!" and then a whispered "that's not how it works, you're doing it wrong" because her parents were doctors and Winry knew better than Ed and Al ever would.

But then Winry's doctor parents get killed in the war, and for a long time after that Winry ad Ed and Al don't play anything at all. By the time Ed and Al's mom died, they had completely outgrown their childish games. They had to.

For a long time after that, they don't even see each other, not until their next play date, when Winry grabs her parents supplies once again and holds Ed down, even though this time he isn't moving, and this time Granny Pinako is playing too, and this time Al is wearing a silly costume and there's blood everywhere and Ed is actually dying for real.

This time it's Winry getting yelled at for making mistakes, because her hands are shaking too much because she had never played like this before.

This time changed everything; they will never be children again.

Winry doesn't know what to do. As far as her mind can reach, there is nothing that can slow her racing heart or keep her eyes from leaking tears. This time is the end. As far as her mind can reach, there can't possibly be anything worse than this.

At least when she is wrapping bandages around where Ed's arm and leg used to be, she could pretend that they're still playing like they used to. But the illusion is lost when, after the bandages are tied, Ed doesn't get up and say "my turn." Winry waits for him to, but the only thing he does is bleed through the bandages, and all Winry does is watch. Granny hits her on the head and scolds her for not changing them.

Granny snatches the roll of bandages from her hands and Winry whispers, "but it's still my turn," her palms turned upwards as she waits for her to give them back. Ed and Al were never this bossy when they played in the woods. They should have gone back to the woods, because it's no fun playing around Pinako, who was constantly reminding them that "tools aren't toys."

The next time he bleeds through the bandages, Winry changes them as fast as she can. "I don't like this game, Edward," she says, using his full name to make sure that he listens. "Please... I don't want to play anymore!"

"Al," he says, much later.

When Ed continues to call for his brother, Winry goes to find him. He must still think it's a game, Winry decides, because Al is still wearing that silly costume. But he follows her into the room and says "brother," and Winry says "Your brother's here, I got Al," and Ed turns his head and slowly cracks his eyes open, gazing at nothing before creasing his brow and finding Al.

But there is only a brief sign of recognition before Ed starts to scream. He thrashes his limbs and claws at the bandages where his arm used to be, and Winry holds him down, begging him to stop. But he is terrified, and he screams and screams until his voice and strength are spent and he and falls limp, sobbing.

All this time, Al doesn't say a word.

Winry sees the ripped bandages, the newly flowing blood against the bedsheets, and Al standing motionless beside her, and she knows she has to do something, but all she can do is run. Out of the room, out of the house, she runs until she sees Granny up the road, walking towards her, and runs into her arms.

They walk back together. Granny goes right into Ed's room and Winry spends the night on the porch.

After that night, Winry tries to avoid going near Ed, unless he is unconscious or Granny makes her. Ed doesn't say a word. For weeks, he doesn't say anything, not until the state alchemist comes, and then he demands that they build him automail, and Winry knows, then, finally, that it really isn't a game anymore.


End file.
